I was given this porcelain mouse by my friend for my 18th birthday.
She told me: “At least something really bad happens in your life, this mouse will always make you happy.”

My name is Oleksandra Dementieva.
I was born and grew up in Ukraine. I arrived in France two years ago. 17.03.2022.
Today I am going to tell you my honest, deep and autobiographic story.

I got a master’s degree in architecture and worked in an office. I was under 24 years old and I was an assistant to an architect. I had a good situation but it didn’t make me happy. I realized I didn’t want to continue.

I had no idea what I wanted to do. I was trying to understend answer for “who am I?”. I quit my job, give to rent my apartment and go traveling. This was time when we didn’t have smartphones and Google Maps was on papier. I hitchhiked in Ukraine and then continued little beet to Europe. I talked a lot with different people during my travels. Hitchhiking is an experience where people reveal to you the most secret and sincere depths of their soul. This is how I learned a lot about the world and people.

I had friends in the United States who gave me money for a visa. It was 8 years ago. It was quite difficult for a single and unemployed Ukrainian to have a tourist visa. Three weeks later I took the plane. It was a real adventure because I didn’t speak English, and all I took with me was a $40. I set out to discover a new life and I had no idea how much it would change my life. I was able to start learning English and going to the art museums.

I don’t know why, but I meet amazing people on the roads I take who keep me moving in the right direction. One day at museum, I saw a self-portrait of Frida Kahlo. I bought a book about her and when I spoke to my friend about her house in Mexico in the evening, he opened his laptop, and told me “today is Wednesday, there is tickets for Monday. You will flying to Mexico?” And I said, “Me? A person who does not speak English and who is not never been to Mexico? Of course, I’m flying there!” So I flying alone to Mexico.

I went to Frida’s house. After looking at her works, I site here in her garden for a long time and things about life and my three years of adventures. I felt there was something in common between me and all these artists whose works I saw, we feel this world very subtly just they start to express it. And then I realized, “I’m an artist”.
I went to Frida’s house. After looking at her works, I site here in her garden for a long time and things about life and my three years of adventures. I felt there was something in common between me and all these artists whose works I saw, we feel this world very subtly just they start to express it. And then I realized, “I’m an artist”.

When I came back to Ukraine, I bought my first canvas, paint and started trying to paint. I never studied painting and art. I let myself be carried away by what I feel. It was very difficult because I had a lot of difficulty expressing myself and I was very unsure of what I was doing.

After time I met love in Lviv and we moved to Kyiv. After a while, I born a daughter and my world changed again. I sold an apartment in Kyiv and bought other in Irpin. It is 10 km from Kyiv.

When my daughter was 8 months old, the relationship with my partner started to distroed and I went to Paris for the first time. This city was able to heal my emotional pain. One day I walked past a Parisian art school, come in and realized I wanted to study art in France.

Then a new dream was born to study in art school in France.

After one month, I stay live alone with my child and needed to have money for us and move forward in life. I fell in love with flowers during my pregnancy. So I became a florist and started creating flower composition and to be wedding florist.

One day, a friend from Paris told me that he wanted to pay me to paint a painting for him.

He give me money for canvases and make any painting I wanted. I bought some red fabric and made this painting representing myself.

This work was very difficult for me. I did it realy lond time. When I finished the work, I asked another friend to take a photo of me with the canvas and the red fabric. You will find out what it is next.

I was creating art, I was working, and I was very happy.

But one day everything changed.

February 24, 2022
Awakened by the bombs, I realized that start full scale invasion.

Two hours later we were already sitting in the car and driving west towards the European Union. I could never have imagined this in my life. The next day, my town was already occupied by Russian soldiers. Many of my friends have found themselves in terrible conditions and risked their lives to escape. Some people died. My boyfriend stayed in western Ukraine and Im with my daughter and dog, crossed the border into Slovakia and on March 13 we left in search of a new home.

After 5 days, we found our place in France, and after another week, my city was liberated and for me start send photos like this.

A high explosive shell flew straight into my apartment and everything burned to the ground. After the deocupation, people began to come back, little by little, and clean and repair everything. And then they found my mouse there. It was the only thing that survived this terrible fire.

After 5 months in France, on the last day of summer 2022, I was finally able to come home. Each step to the roof to my apartment was a challenge for me. Finally there, I sat down with my porcelain mouse by my side, and began to think about what I could do with everything that had happened.

Back at my father’s house, with whom I stayed in Kyiv for a week, I wrote to person with whom we planing to meet the next day. “You probably didn’t imagine our first meeting like this, but I suggest you go to Irpin tomorrow. I invite you to my home. Do you know how to take photos and make films? I need help. It would be an art project.” Considering everything that happened in my city, how many people died there and how many people were tortured, it was difficult to go there even after six months. “Okay, come to my house tomorrow, we’ll have dinner then we’ll go buy paint and fabric and we’ll leave. Just I will have a friend with me.” So we met for the first time in our lives, had dinner, and then collected all what we need from her house. Then we bought white paint and go to my home at sunset for to be ready to express our art.

And project was born…

In 30 minutes we completed an incredible project with a person I saw for the first time in my life who had never done anything like this before.

Part 2
Post-traumatic stress syndrome Post-traumatic stress growth

In conclusion, I want to tell that my story hard but In comparison with other stories I find it simple even though I have experienced traumatic things. I suggest those who are interested in this topic to watch the films “Dovha doba” and “20 Days in Mariupol”. The last recently won an Oscar. There are a lot of really difficult stories…

Now every Ukrainians has in their life someone who died in this war. It’s really pain that I haven’t completely understood yet. Many yers ago I rented a room in an apartment with musicians and artists. My friend Roma lived in the next room. He was an extremely talented musician. He said: “I don’t learn how to play music, I just remember how to do it. I must have done it in a past life.” At the end of 2023, he was invited into the Ukrainian Armed Forces. He accepted it with dignity. He saying “now the world wants me to change instruments”. On January 23, 2024, he died while carrying out his first combat mission. And today, in this chapel, I want to ask everyone to take a minute of silence in honor of all the people of the world who have died because of war of all times, while listening to my friend Roma Bran playing his violin…

I dedicate this story to all people I met on my way. To everyone who helped me stay on this way. to the people of my family and people who passed all the hard experiences and grew out of their trauma. For all who give their lives for make peace. And today I tell big thanks for all they and for you that you give me this possibility to tell this and come today and listen this story. Thank you! And I’m thankful for art.